I’ll do it later…. I keep having conversations with people who are postponing their deepest desires. Often they talk about not being sure and waiting for something.
For myself, until recent years, I was afraid to pursue what I wanted. Starting my own business was my deepest desire but way outside of my comfort zone. I kept persuading myself that I would pay off my mortgage, finish this project, do it when I was 55, make a bit more money and so on. I told myself that perhaps I wasn’t good enough and would fail. So best not try right?
I’m recently back from being in Australia for a few days. It was strange to see Melbourne much greener than either Auckland or Tasmania. While travelling, we saw many people of all nationalities wearing masks. Coronavirus has a lot of people very worried.
It made me wonder if they value their lives so much, whether they are spending their time pursuing the most worthwhile thing in their everyday lives or are they postponing too?
It has been my experience that it is effortless to slip into autopilot. We can be distracted by :
- The kids finishing school
- Paying off the mortgage
- Finishing the next project at work
- Proving ourselves to someone else or ourselves
- Saving for another thing
In the meantime, our life is slipping by us, and we are not playing as big as we could with the time available to us. I know this is the case because I did the same for many years. It seems more straightforward to keep moving along in the life we have than to take the time to pursue our dreams.
Autopilot is comfortable, and we delude ourselves that we might not be capable of more, that it’s not the right time in our lives to make a change, that we are not sure what we want. That financially, we need to stay the course. So many people in leadership roles leave burnt out rather than because they feel they have achieved everything they wanted and are ready for something else.
Work-life balance a well-discussed topic, but we find it challenging to make the habit changes to keep our energy high enough to pursue those dreams, rather than choose comfort because we are exhausted. We don’t listen to the signals our bodies send us in the form of digestive issues, being overweight, drinking too much and so forth. Those are the signals of our competition. The desire to overeat, drink, procrastinate and stay comfortable is what we are competing against, not with each other.
I used a coach several times over the years, but I wish I had used one more regularly to keep me on track with my desires. I was far too focused on pleasing others and being comfortable, and spent much time doing this. It is not selfish to put yourself and what you want first. You will then have much more to give others.
We only get one life. Don’t postpone what you want. Please go out and get it.